toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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