I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
