the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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