And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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