thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
