so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
