Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I think i got beer on your cat.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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