Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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