So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
