come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
