hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
