I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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