I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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