I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
