but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
