You're completely useless in the revolution.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
