Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Randomize
