he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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