FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize