I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
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Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
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Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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