no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
