Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
