I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
