My friends, they love my intelligence
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
