What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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