all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I stole a fireplace last night.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
