your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
