Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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