She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
FUCK WHALES
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
