i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
