I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I cannot find my penis.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
