Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
