Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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