But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
