Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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