Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
