dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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