marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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