He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
