I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
