God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
