U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
