Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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