I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
