and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
