no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
