Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
