you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
