it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
