official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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