Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize