There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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