You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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