Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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