Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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