Umm I'm too high to move.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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