2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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