break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
