if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize