It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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