I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
