dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
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he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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