I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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