that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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