forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
