Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
God, I missed his penis.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
