I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
